In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.
STOP KICKING THE BACK OF MY CHAIR
You’re such a meanie. Why do you have to go after religion? It gives people...– Bill Maher (via -ihateseagulls-)
Inspirational. Moving. Beautiful.
Only on Tumblr will you find a stripper complaining about the objectification of women.
Fire-breathing koi fish
My next tattoo. YES.
Yep, I do.
Mom: do you know what a choad is?
Can I come with you. I love you. We need to live in San Francisco together. Please for real.
1.75 GPA. My existence continues to be a disappointment to myself, my intellect and everyone who cares about me. Cool.